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manager: professor ralf "rr" ragnick

inventor of the gegenpress, rr is here to save this club from itself. modern football has finally landed at old trafford. 

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king david de gea

i'm so loyal to spanish dave that i ain't even putting another keeper in this list. we would be nowhere without this man. stay loyal to him, 10q plz 

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dalot: a full back that can actually cross and beat players. its been so long.

awb: spider-wan has 8 left feet. yet he is the best 1-on-1 tackler i've ever seen. make it make sense, 10q plz

telles: i'm still not 100% convinced but he can deffo whip a ball. his time now?

shaw: a hot 6 months & he got called shawberto carlos smh. he needs to get back to levels or he is out

varane: champions league varane. nuff said

bailly: our brittle badman. if he could stay fit, he would be my first choice with Cl varane fo sho

lindelof: the ice man has been solid this season so far. this man is either solid ice or a puddle. but he is decent

maguire: slabheadie one is the worst signing we have ever made. maguire out. deadington

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pogba man like pp. why don't you all love him??? hybrid baller with everything in his game. i hope he stays for life

fred: pastor fred has been inspired since ole got that p45. dare i say it, even brazilian. there will always be question marks for me but he can decent sometimes

mctominay: scott the scott has no sauce. i can't believe he plays so much. he has dirt on someone

matic: quality baller in his day. but his best is behind him. However, he's a valuable squad member. experience

bruno: he gives the ball away so casually. but he creates and scores so much. you can't hate on bruno. its bruno, get me

VDB: donny, my donny. i love this guy. he has been mocked his entire utd career. but his time to shine is coming. if he don't take mcnosauce's spot...

sancho: they try call him 007. don't they know he has a licence to kill? and that is just what he is gonna do

rashford: rashford is still raw. all these years and he is still raw. undercooked. his football iq isn't the best. but i believe in him. he can be important once coached

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ronaldo: cr7. man like meh-eh-eh. i wonder how many he will end the season with? also, he will not allow this to be the first season he hasn't won a trophy for over 15 years

cavani: el matador has a never ending engine. what a striker. he will be an asset for us this season

martial: am9 is my guy. martial fc til i d.i.e i'm sick of the slander. watch when he comes back firing under ralf

greenwood: gunwood fc is the truth. this kid is special. he is going to be top 3 in the world one day

diallo: amad-ness diallo is the future of this club. he is sooooo tekky. disgusting touch and dribbling skills. rr is gonna develop him

shoretire: "sho-rah-tee-reh" get it right & get used to the name

hannibal: the most exciting of all the young players for me. i can't wait until he breaks through. baller

elanga: he is so damn quick. and on it. he has already impressed rr and he has imppressed me too. i think he has a bright future

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lingard: jlingz should have been emancipated in the summer. mans being held captive and lost all his renaissance momentum. he ain't on signing a contract. its time to let him go

mata: mata is no longer the juan. he is a part time blogger and extra part time baller. mans even donating some of his salary cos he feels guilty for pay for nothing

phil jones: phil is the sickest mutant cockroach that ever lived. he can survive anything. 7 managers and counting. he will outlive everyone at ot

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